Love – a heavenly emotion, a unique experience, a very special thing.

When you fall in love you think: that’s the one. The only one.

It comes spontaneously, surprisingly, it happened: you don’t know why.

Well, we sociologists know that it is not so spontaneous and falling in love follows general patterns.

There are a lot of persons in the world, even in your country, in your region, in your city whom you could fall in love with. But it’s not random, it’s to a wide part predictable.

Romantic love, the ideal prevalent in our western world, seems to be bound to no social barriers. No, we do not have arranged marriage and we do not believe in zodiac signs to find the right partner.


Even in our westernized world, dominated by the vision of romantic love, we find homogeneous marrying circles. It is highly probable that you fall in love with somebody from a similar social background. You share similar values, thoughts, behavioral patterns. Professions in both of your families are similar. Not that the parents have the same job – though it’s not unlikely – but on the level of uncles and aunts, on the level of former generations, you might find they worked in the same area.  Imagine you come from a large city and the person you love comes from the same city than it is highly probable that you have overlapping family networks. Maybe your ancestors, your relatives met somewhere in the city, far away from the time you both fell in love. Perhaps the families or part of the families once lived in the same area, bought at the same butcher shop, went to the same restaurant, watched the same movies and enjoyed summer in similar country sides.

Today you may find partners across borders, partners from overseas. Look at those partnerships which came together at least for quite a while, a few years. Probably also the families are not too divergent. Perhaps in both families there were teachers, employers, businessmen, civil servants. And they live in a comparable surrounding, adjusted to the country they live in.

The internet gives possibilities, endless possibilities. Though I have no studies on that yet, the rule will stay the same: people of comparable social background couple. This is the algorithm partnership platforms rely on.

For partnerships, the proverb „Birds of a feather flock together“ is truer rather than „opposites attract“.

It is predictable whom you will fall in love with. Social background matters.

Observe it in your neighborhood? Don’t you have the same experience?

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